Living Through Memories
by deadkitty1
Summary: Eun Soo and Choi Young have to go through the test of time and suffer hardships apart from one another through many years. So many thoughts overcome this couple and it exposes their weakness. Will they keep believing for that one day when they'll be together or move on?
1. Chapter 1

Living through Memories

Chapter: Imja

by deadkitty1

I wake up in a room that isn't my own. I eat the food prepared while talking to the people with the only smile I can put up, then I go to take care of the injured. The day wears on and with any luck, I'm busy preparing herbs and healing the elderly in no time.

This village is quiet, obscured from the nearby towns and the palace. Mostly country folk with a broken leg or a sprained ankle is the wost part of my job. It's surprising how many people get hurt by trees here and then I remember that my town isn't here. At least, not yet... Still, I'm grateful for the attention. I need it to know I'm doing something besides thinking about him.

It's hard not to. When the night comes, he's the only one that keeps me up. It's different every night. Most of the time, I wake up in a sweat, panicked with fear and worry. All about him. His lifeless body. A breath of my name dieing on his lips. The details of remembering them are painful. I cry alone drowning in my emotions. I dread the next day when I have to face it with a smile, reassuring myself again and again that he's safe._ Alive_. But there are those rare moments of the night when my dreams are of him smiling, talking, and even arguing. Moments I had when I was with him stored inside me just blossom during my weakest times. My day would brighten. I would smell the first sign of rain before it hits the ground, picturing if he's looking at the same blue sky. I would also remember those yellow flowers blooming outside my window. These flowers seem to follow me everywhere I go or maybe I just notice them that much more often when he's on my mind.

OoOo

Sunspots, stars, dates, weather. I give up! I grumble, shoving my hair roughly. I was surprised to find a book about the sun and astrology in the photographer's bag that I took but these dates only count for my past self. How about the me now that needs to get back to him?! I've gone to the gate a few days at a time praying, hoping, and even crying.

I can't stay here. I didn't stay here. I had to have found a way back to him somehow. That man who melted my tools said there was someone from heaven who healed people one hundred years before. That person is me. I didn't believe it. Actually, I was denying it because then I would lose all hope. What if I die on this land in this time before that person is even born? Maybe I did die once upon a time. This strange cycle of traveling back and forth just for him to live can't all be for naught. A dream of him dieing in my arms may have happened before but if I know myself, even in death, I wouldn't allow him to leave me like that. Never. I didn't keep doing this out of despair. I wanted to find a way to go back and save him. Every time.

I need to stop worrying about this. Gate or portal. It will open just like it did before and it will open for me. I'm sure of it.

OoOo

It's been months after everything that's happened. I've attracted a great deal of attention even if this village is hidden in the mountains. I've been moving around a lot, growing uneasy with each patient I treat. I know I shouldn't do that, call attention to myself that is. He'd be scolding me by now if he knew what kind of trouble I'm getting myself in. He'd probably say something like always keep myself safe. Don't trust anyone. Let other people handle it. A smile touches the edges of my lips. I can't believe he's capable of making me smile just at the thought of him. Sometimes I worry I'd forget his face or that voice but it vividly rings clear inside me like a picture carefully tucked safely in my head.

OoOo

My hand clutches tighter to the recorder. It's stopped working a long, long time ago. Mom and Dad. I don't think I'll ever stop missing them. I feel like I'm barely holding on. Their faces look like ripples stained on a pond, existing yet the details of their eyes, hair, smile... I can't remember.

What kind of daughter forgets her own parents' faces?! I sigh in contempt unable to answer myself. They would've loved him. Mom would've cooked all day, all her famous dishes and my favorites. Dad's the silent type. Still he probably would have wanted to know what kind of man his daughter was going to marry. Marry... Would I ever get there in time for that to happen? Would he still be waiting... for me?

OoOo

I brush a stray wrinkle from my silk gown as I pass advice to a doctor nearby. He finally gets a call from someone and leaves me to my thoughts.

Ice hands had way better food and clothing than this guy that captured me. Some dog-eared punk with a lot of talk and looks like he has a fair amount of men with him too. At least there's other doctors to talk to. Doctor Jang would have loved knowing about the medicine they're using here. A bit out of style since it is a hundred years before his time but sometimes the simplest methods are still the best methods. Although, on the other hand, that man wouldn't like this at all. It'll be like last time when he stormed through those front doors to drag me out while professing his love for me. Ha! He was so macho about it too but when I teased him about it, he couldn't even get a word out! No. He definitely would not approve. I need to find a way out of here soon.

OoOo

The time is nearing and I can't believe it's almost here! I've made preparations and now is as good a time as any to escape. That dog-eared man is gone. Off to visit somebody so important that he took a major part of the guard. It also seems like everyone is too busy planning his leave that they don't even seem to notice me exiting out the gate in the dead of night.

Running away like this should be frightening but I'm excited. I would run away at a moment's notice when I'm with him. I know what to do. He took on the responsibly but I was always watching him. How he hid our trail, how to tell if someone was following us, where to go, everything. I was watching and learning even when he didn't want to answer my questions. And now, soon, as the road approaching gets closer, maybe I can get a chance to ask him more.

OoOo

Three days. I've been traveling three days on horseback and nobody's been after me. It might help that it's been raining for those past days but I also would like to think is had to do with all the praying I've been doing. The Woodalchi would laugh if they knew. A heavenly person like me praying?!

I just need to get there. Back to that time or this knot in my chest won't come undone. And maybe if I get there... No, when I get there, that portal will open and I'll find him. If I have to, I'll go through as many portals as possible until I see him again.

OoOo

Eun Soo! What the hell are you doing?! I bite my lips as I get to the final suture and immediately ask for the next child. A wagon accident. Three kids. Two need medical attention and today I just saw two guards pass through looking for me but here I am still helping these kids. I suck in a breath as my impatient hand almost cuts through the wrong side. I curse under my breath, clearing my head. I'm going to save them. One by one stitch. Carefully. Then, I'm going home. Home to him.

I knew it! I could almost cry at the sight of that swirling vortex and I rush in without a hesitation. The tunnel inside is lonely, with different sounds echoing all about but never making any sense. I run, not wasting any more time and then I arrive back to the present. I say a silent farewell as I rush back inside, eager to make it to him. As soon as the light expands, I jump out and look. It looks the same. My heart clenches with the same type of feeling as before. It can't be... Wait. I blow a breath of air and walk calmly through the grass to head inside the village.

It's not the same. It only looks the same. He's _here_. He's got to be here. Please!

I look through the stands, everything seems different. I perk up. The place doesn't look the same. Maybe! Maybe! A tiny light begins to burn as my steps become quicker. Suddenly, I feel someone tug my sleeve. A huge wave of emotion crashes into me at once. It's him! It's..! I turn around, caught off guard at the sight of a boy, a teenager at least. He looks familiar … no, it can't be!

I barely manage a smile as he talks and talks and talks. He's the same boy. The boy I saved from the wagon. Years ago for him but yesterday for me. How? I thought... He flashes me some concern and I just push it aside. Not here. He's... not _here_.

It's not gonna be easy, huh? Heaven must get a kick out of tormenting the people on land. Hope? What use is hope when there's nothing here to keep me going?!

OoOo

I'm stuck. I don't know where to go from here. I lost track of time. How long was I in this room? This dark room that kind kid managed to get for me. I can't keep doing this. Relying on others for help. But what's the use? That gate must be laughing at me. Playing with my heart from the start because it wants me to end up here forever. My hair's grown too long. This dirt on my hands, were they always there? How? Why won't somebody just tell me what to do?! Is my wish that selfish? Is it too much? How is it that I have met the man I want to be with for the rest of my life and faith says no? What and I going to do? What am I _suppose_ to do?

OoOo

Blood. Is it too much? Will she be alright? I glance towards the midwife, her hands steady and words calming. I've never done this. Ever! With one final push, a miracle happens. Here, now, life. I gaze at the lively being, unsure of what to say or to even do. The woman immediately does her job quickly, the mother cries from relief and joy. I smile gently unsure why I was even here but I couldn't find it in myself to turn away. That kid had a kid. Well, he was married and his wife was the one that had a kid and it was a miracle. Something so small and fragile can cry so strongly. It's so strong. That strength, where does it come from? How does something so small find that will to live?

The midwife cleans the child as best as possible before handing it to the mother. The way she's looking at her child is love. Yes. That's it. She looks my way and I come to her side. She raises the bundle in her arms and starts to hand it to me. I refuse but it's too late. This child is in my arms. I thought it's eyes would be closed but it's open, awake and full of life. It's crazy and before I know it, I'm crying. Everything just hits me all at once. I gaze back at the mother as she grasps me by the elbow. She's also crying. She knows. To live. It starts here. I've forgotten that. Birth, life, love, all these things and more happen in the rarest of moments. Meeting him, falling for him, traveling in the past for him, these should be impossible but I did it. This child, survived through the impossible. Giving up? That shouldn't be an option. There's so much to live for and as long as there's one reason to keep living, I need to try.

OoOo

I say my farewell to the couple and their new bundle of joy. They insisted on naming their kid after me but what kind of child would want my name? That would be a weird name for a boy. I stagger across some weeds through the grass. I suddenly lose my footing and yelp as I roll down the landing. Ow! That hurts. I moan. I really should watch where I'm going. I reach for my bag when I see it. One yellow flower. I search the area for where it could've come from but there was hardly a field of flowers anywhere. I snatch up the bud with a pointed glare and laugh. It's almost like he's telling me to be more careful. That even though he's not here to catch me, he's still here.

While traveling, I begin to set the notes I laid out for myself. Back then, I thought it was some copycat of me, a clone, or even just someone unfortunate who happened to get stuck in the past like me that had the same handwriting but now I know better. No one could've written those messages except for me. The me now that understands what needs to be done to save that person. History be damned. If I wasn't meant to change the past, I wouldn't be here right now doing it.

Ice hand couldn't pass through the gate. Only me and that person. Everything, even now was suppose to happen, no matter how ridiculous it might seem. It's strange to feel comforted at the thought that he was meant to kidnap me no matter what and I was meant to stay to be with him. Is heaven a romantic? Letting me suffer like this?

Ah! I wonder Maybe I can add more to the letter. I glance at the letter in the film canister. If I warn my other self about that poison bastard, I can save myself earlier or even Doctor Jang! I can save him too! I can! I.. I stop, unsure whether to go on with this. If I do happen to add that, all the other previous memories would disappear. I suffered but I also got to be with him more. And Doctor Jang. It's mean, even cruel to think but his death had meaning. I drop the canister down and push the rock in. Memories are precious and I would not want to change them, even the bad ones.

OoOo

I can't believe she's here talking to me and offering me hairpins at that! The Lady Choi! Sword fighting and inside secret keeper of the palace Lady Choi! I'm aghast but I find myself coming here everyday, making chatter and even managing to buy a handful of hair accessories. She looks exactly like her and there are times where I find myself comfortable sharing my memories with her. She's grown fond of me. I can't refuse her kindness because secretly I wish that she might introduce me to her family and maybe she might have a nephew too. A nephew with a similar temperament of someone I know. I might be hoping for too much. It is too much. Though, one can only hope.

OoOo

Huh. Great. I'm honestly not surprised anymore. I go down to a familiar road once again greeted by a shopkeeper who I have seen before. It's hard not to hide the disappointment but well, the swirling vortex of unknown time still appears with its unusual weird timing so I should be happy about that. When it stops, that's probably when panic would set in. The familiar shopkeeper spreads her newly acquired pieces and asks me where I've been through all these months. I grin hardly at lost of what to say I did just see her but the portal pushed me forward a couple of months, so I just say I was trying to visit a friend but it seems he's not there anymore and I lost the place. She pats my hand with a comforting face and says that people who are looking for each other tend to meet and I shouldn't worry about it. I hope she's right because heaven knows I'm gonna keep looking for him for a long time.

OoOo

Since when did it get so hard to walk. I struggle getting up a hill, huffing to catch my breath. I was never good at long walks. I did tell him. I sit down and see a long stick. Well, there's an idea. I pick it up and use it along my way. Ah. Now I do feel old. Does passing through those gates have a side-effect? Maybe it steals a little of my strength or my life. I frown with worry as I quickly steal a glance at the river. Am I older? I don't know. That woman looks like me but it's expression is different. I perk a smile and immediately regret it. What sort of smile is that?! A sigh escapes me and I start patting my cheeks. Be happy. Be happy!

Ah!

I lose my balance and fall into the water. My clothes are all soaked! I groan and whine as a I splash the water more in frustration. Just as I do though a fish out of nowhere plops on my lap and I scream. With a quick splash, I quickly retreat back to the bank in shock.

Fish. There was a fish. Where? Yah!

The living creature splatters and flops while struggling to breath the air. It followed me! What the..! I grab the stick and use it to push the creature back into the river where it came from. It gives a big splash and then as it swims away I could swear it shot me a mean glare. Imagine. A fish just glared at me! Unbelievable! Too unbelievable that I couldn't keep the laughter from coming out of my mouth. Now I'm not so sure I would wanna ever go fishing.

OoOo

Here we go again. I go inside, ignore the images and the voices. I arrive in the present. Without so much as a second glance, I go back inside and come back to the same place. It looks the same once again. Maybe I should go see if that restaurant still has the best mandu. I'm craving some right now. And kimchi. Oh, something spicy would be nice for once! I walk towards the place and it's unusually loud today. I quietly take a seat and see the place covered with soldiers and not just ordinary soldiers. What's going on? Hmm. Maybe I should ask.


	2. Chapter 2

Living through Memories

Chapter: Daejang

by deadkitty1

Where is she? Is she safe? What is she doing? I can't get it out of my head. She was here and then she was gone. Just like that. It's been weeks since then. I barely got through my fever and all my other injuries. I thought about staying in my dreams, hoping to see her, even just to catch a glimpse of her red hair, instead I continue to hear her voice pleading in the darkness; _Please, don't die_. Here I am wanting to see her again and she tells me not to. To just live. It's so like her to be heartless, to care more about others when I'm worried sick about her.

OoOo

It's begun. The War again Yuan and for the new recruits to prove themselves. I've carefully screened each and every one to make sure they're loyalty lies on the right side. New training. New weapons. New people. Then more meetings with the king, captains, then Suribang. Everyday it's one thing after another. I go through each tasks with little distraction. Calculating moves. Thinking ahead. Discussing the next plan of attack. The people are nervous but the road ahead is clear. There is no going back. No more hesitating. We need action.

OoOo

My eyes roam around the room almost expecting someone to burst through those doors. I've been approached by the King, the queen, my aunt, and even the vice captain. Who else is next? All of them have been coming at me, one by one throughout this whole week telling me to take it easy. Take it easy? We're at war! During times like these, I have to be prepared. I have to be one step ahead and always ready. Failure cannot be an option. Everyone is counting on me. I have to protect my men, the king, the queen, the...

The door slams open and the vice captain barges in with an order. I rise up to grab my sword for the fight but stop when he puts his arm out.

What? Only them? I'm to stay? _What?_

I grunt ready to argue when he tells me that time is important and my position needs to be by the palace. The grip on my sword is tighter than usual, but I submit to the order and head for the palace. The rest go the other way and I'm almost tempted to join them. I'll speak to the king first. He must let me go. I need to be by their side. They need me.

The king is sitting by his desk drawing as usual but I know better. He does his best thinking when he's drawing. I bow and get right to it. He should understand more than anyone that for any battle, I'm to be front and center. The king informs me that its only a handful of people in the fight and that hardly calls the attention of every Woodalchi soldier. I grit my teeth, gaining control of my emotions. He keeps talking and mentions I should use this time to rest and recuperate for the bigger battles ahead instead of running off to every little fight and wasting my energy. No energy is wasted when it's comes to protecting my men! I said it out loud without thinking and the king doesn't even seem shocked. In fact, his gaze becomes more striking and I find myself looking away. He starts scolding me. My actions have been careless. Fighting through day and night, whether it's with the Woodalchi or the Suribang. He knows about my sleepless nights. I assure him my health is of no concern and I'm only doing everything possible to win the fight for him. He suddenly stands up and comes close. I prepare for his words unflinchingly but he does something unexpected. He raises his hand and pats me on the shoulder. My mouth opens about to say something but he gets ahead of me. He tells me that I need to take care of this body because once I do, I can be more capable of taking care of my men and everyone else. Then his eyes sink with a saddened expression as he replies he would not want to see me die like this, not when he knows _she_ wouldn't like it.

I turn away, not wanting to let my eyes show the emotions its carrying. He's right. She wouldn't like me being careless with my body. His grip on my shoulder tightens and I'm forced to look into his eyes. He tells me that the burden I'm holding isn't mine to hold. It's his and everyone. I have to trust them more or our plan for this nation will never come true. He's right. I know he's right. It's hard knowing and accepting my life is cared for by these people who I never would have thought would even care about a soldier like me. Fine. I will not waste my life so needlessly. I'll live it with a purpose.

OoOo

It's dark and I can hear the moans from the troops in the tents still to a whisper. A lost and a retreat. I've lost men. Good men. Luckily, the retreat saved the ones that remained but the moral is dim. I can feel the bruises and cuts on my skin dig deep in my body. The doctors wanted to attend to me but I told them my men go first. These scratches hardly call medical attention, though it is enough to make me want to sleep for an entire fortnight from fatigue, if my mind wasn't so busy.

I sit up with effort and grab my sword as I head outside. The guards outside salute and I nod, telling them I'll be back. I take a couple of steps and eventually feel the wind against my neck and I stop. She's here. She's always here. I can smell her in the air but for how long will she remain in my head until I lose that scent, that voice. How long will I be able to bear this?

OoOo

How annoying! I bare through the treatment with as much patience as I can gather. This annoying doctor would not leave me alone! He probably got orders from the king. So what if I don't want my wounds to be treated. I heal them plenty with my own powers and yet this persistent thin man got past my guards and insisted on seeing me. Such impudence for a small man.

His prodding fingers tickle my skin and I move away by pulling back on my clothing. That's far enough. He comments on my body's great ability to heal quickly, as if I didn't already know. I manage a nod. I thought my silence would help him know that he's done and he need not stay. With a groan I turn towards the man with a direct frown. He shuffles his medical equipment with a very slow pace that one would think that poison may have gotten to this limbs. He ceremoniously gives his thanks for treating me then I tell him he was impeding on my time with the other commanding officers and I need to go. That seems to get him moving and he rushes out bowing several times out the door.

Hmm. It seems I was right. My officers have been telling me this certain doctor was the same one that keeps asking about her. Rumors of her skills have not gone unheard but I rather be in a meeting than talk to someone like him about her. Just knowing about her wouldn't even come close to him getting even 1% of her skills. He can keep dreaming.

OoOo

You stupid idiot! Don't you even think about closing your eyes! Stay with me!

The doctor rushes in trying to stop the blood but it continues to seep out endlessly. Deok-Man. No. There has to be a way. There must be! The thin doctor is struggling. He doesn't know what to do. Idiot! What would she do? What _would_ she do?

I look at my surroundings. Yuan soldiers ambushed us in daylight in the middle of a market place. A few civilians are injured but it's my men that took the beating. Something catches my eye. I see a woman tending to someone but it's the shiny point next to her that catches my eye. Needle. _She_ used it to close up the skin before.

I grab the woman and she looks scared until I explain that we need her help. She catches sight of the blood and her face pales, shaking her head with a definite no. She pulls away. I plead and before I can even get a word in she leaves in a panic. I grunt in frustration when I see another hand reach for the needle and thread. The doctor looks at me with hesitation, waiting for my word. He might be capable. Well, let's see what he can do.

OoOo

I don't know what I was thinking. Here I am thinking I might be late. That I might have missed her. I haven't been by the gate for months because of the campaign. This place. This spot. I don't know why my heart calls out for it every day, every night, and every minute of the day. I know that gate can appear anywhere at any time but somehow my gut is telling me it'll be here. It needs to be here. I even went to wash first before I left. I know how she hates the smell of blood. But nothing. No word of a strange woman with healing powers or heavenly words. No rumors about her at all.

I crush the earth under my hands. Why isn't she here? What's keeping her? What if something happened? What... What if she forgot? It's been a year. Who knows how long this will go on. She might have moved on. She.. with another man. Electricity flickers through my fingertips in annoyance. What kind of man is he to have _her_?

I stop as my hands feel something in the dirt. I dug in too deep without thinking. I feel something familiar though. I cast away the flowers, the flowers of her, and see what's underneath. It's a bottle. Her bottle! I grasp it, afraid it might not be real or disappear on the spot. I take out the first one she gave me and compare it. It's one and the same! Though it looks old and worn away but it's hers though. Definitely.

She's fine. She was here which means she will be here. A relieved sigh escapes from my lips and I feel unburdened for the first time in a long time. I don't know what I was worrying for. She will find a way back. I need to believe so I can see her again.

OoOo

Another year has passed by. The Woodalchi think I'm crazy spending my free time to wait by a tree for her to come back. Dae-Man even offered to wait there so I can do something else. Something else?! I gave the kid an extra pounding before sending him off on his way. How can I do anything else? What was I suppose to do other than this? My heart won't budge. I am to do this or I will really go crazy.

It helps to know she's alive somewhere trying to find me. Sometimes I wish she'd just stay put and be safe in case something bad might happen but then I'd get restless, cursing at my men and then myself. Losing hope in her coming back would really kill me. Besides, I know her enough to know she wouldn't stand not doing anything. She would be the one cursing at me with heavenly words if I even try to stop her from trying to get back to me just so she could be safe. Right now, I'd give anything to hear her yell at me now. I deserve it.

OoOo

I notice Dae-Man's taken an interest in one of the warrior maidens. I wasn't gonna mention it but he's the first one to come to me and ask what to do. I don't know what to say. I can see him growing impatient and then he catches me off guard. He suddenly asks what I did to get the High Doctor to become my woman. My body acts without warning and he gets one big pounding on the head. He glares but pouts it off to stalk away.

Lately, he's been talking about her more. I wouldn't mind but when he does it around the new men, I give him a stern look. She shouldn't be a story. She's the one that tells stories. She's the one that talks about warriors, maidens, and kings who did great things. Those people aren't here. I don't want her to become like them, just a memory. And yet I can't help it. More and more people are talking about her whenever I look.

My frown deepens. Agh. Even when she's not here my mind still becomes a mess. I don't think I'll ever be rid of her. But then I don't want to even if I could.

Dae-Man paces across the bridge, talking to himself. This girl must be important to warrant that much attention. I wish she was here. She would know what to say. She'd smile, pat him on the back and tell him to go for it. That's it!

I grin and walk towards the kid who is barely into a man. It's time though. I need to stop looking at him like a punk brat. He's grown up and proven himself over and over again. It's still gonna take a while to look at him like a man though. When I see him, I still remember the little street rugrat starved yet full of spunk just wanting a chance to live. As he sees me approaching, he instinctively covers his head but I give him a good pat on the back. Dae-Man looks confused at the sentiment and I don't blame him. His eyes look up at me as I tell him to go for it: frontal assault, Break through and steal her heart just like she's stolen his.

OoOo

The seasons are changing again and winter is on the rise. No more rain or flowers. I thought I saw her today. It's getting more and more frequent with the weeks coming up. I've been driven mad chasing women who look like her and talk like her. One time, I've chased after some chick half way across the village to find out that what I thought was red hair was just fur. Also when the wind picks up, it always carries her scent and leaves just as fast as it arrives. The wind is toying with me. It's sweet agony. That's what this is. Sweet agony.

OoOo

I dreamt about her last night. She was dressed in the same heavenly clothes she had when I first kidnapped her. She looked happy. She was in her time back with her people smiling. I called out to her and she looked straight at me with that smile and I knew. That smiling face cannot fool me. Not anymore. It's a lie. A lie I've been trying to fool myself into believing. Even she's forcing herself to believe in it too. She shouldn't have to bear this nor should I. This hope is kindling to a weak flame. Too many circumstances stand between the two of us. It may be just too much to overcome. It is too much.

OoOo

This. Now that I have it in my hands, I don't know what to do with it. She carried this blue bag everywhere. When she lost it, I ordered for it to be found. How is it after all this time it returns to me when its owner is now the one that's gone. I thought the Pledged Sister forgot all about it. And yet she brings it to me like I sent the order out yesterday. What do I do with this?! Everything inside it is gone. Sold out to who knows who. All that's left is this bag.

It's strange. I take out Mae Hee's Bandana. These two left me and they leave behind their things. I put her bag in a separate chest as I feel an uncertain tug. Should I also say goodbye to her too? Is this what this bag signifies? To let her _go_?

I have to face the truth. She's been gone for far too long. I can say with confidence that she'll be okay. She's strong. I'm sure she's realized it as well that living like this, waiting, it's wasting time. I need to concentrate on more important matters like the construction of this nation. With enough time I can't remember Mae Hee's face and the same would happen with her. She'll be nothing more than a memory.

OoOo

The Queen has called me. It's unusual. I wait calmly for her to speak first. She was inquiring about my health and the troops but then stops the conversation abruptly. I try to figure out her worries. I hope it's not about the King. Vice Captain has been making sure to escort him back every night before he overworks himself. Or maybe someone's been after the Queen? Or her health! She's been getting her regular check-ups from the doctors so I really hope it's not that. What could it be?

She raises her head and her eyes are serious. She gets right to the point that I haven't been visiting the portal in a long time and asks me why. I swallow uncomfortably. When it looks like I can't answer, she takes something out. It's soap. The soap _she_ made for the Queen. The Queen goes on how it was the last gift she received from that person and requests to check up on the gate sometimes in case she comes back. I bite the inside of my cheek with my head dizzying back and forth until I say the first thing out of my mouth. There's no guarantee that person would come back and if she requires such an indulgence that I can easily get them made from another person. The Queen sighs and a pause hangs in the air. I use the time to gather my thoughts, trying to organize how I should say them. I know she's concerned. The King must have told her but they should understand that some things... and some people are meant to be let go.

Her Highness clutches her heart and looks straight at me with tears hardly being held back in her eyes. She tells me that as time passes, her yearning for the person still increases. The more each day passes, the more moments she thinks of that she may have shared with that person. Birthdays, a victory, even a new hairpin are small things the Queen wants to tell her. Her absence in those events only makes the Queen yearn for her return.

It's her heart that refuses to forget and the heart never bows down to anyone's thoughts even one's own. All it can do is restrain it for a while. Then she asks if my heart has been restrained or has it really moved on for that person? I answer her with another question: Why not just cast an order so her heart would be at ease? She shakes her head very adamantly. She cannot force my heart to do her bidding just like it was wrong of her to command me like last time. I have to be the one that decides. The best she can do is offer her thoughts.

As the Queen exits, I admire at length of her words. She has grown rather smart and would usually come out brash and forward when she wanted something done. I, on the other hand, have not changed. I'm as stubborn as that day when she asked me not to die. I guess that's what Queen meant because in the end I did die just like my heart wanted and yet it was that person's heart in the end that saved me.

I will forget. I refuse to let that person haunt me like this. Just as the thought occurs, my chest constricts and my throat dries up. Ugh. I will win this. I have to. I have survived worst torture than this. A woman? She cannot hold her will above mine.

OoOo

These drunk bastards! I shove the two into the capable hands of the guards who immediately take them away. The festival this autumn has come to a close yet the few causing trouble tonight has grown to be a nuisance. I didn't plan on coming but being as they're short on people, I decided to lend a hand.

I take one last glance before heading back until I notice the same boy still sitting at the same spot just a few hours ago while I was making my rounds. The booths are gone. The people and food are gone too. What could this kid be waiting for? I go up and tell him roughly to go home. He neither sneers nor ignores me. He only says in an hour. An hour's wait. I'm curious. He's obviously been waiting here for more than an hour so I sit down with him. He gives me a passing glance but doesn't comment on my action.

Time passes. Soon the wind starts picking up and the chill in the air rises. I don't know how long this kid plans on waiting here, but eventually, he better get inside or we'll both freeze to death. I sneak a look his way to see that he's also looking my way. This kid is staring right at me! Was he staring the whole time?! I cough about to make a comment when he interrupts. He asks if I'm also waiting for someone.

Somehow once he starts talking he couldn't stop. He has a brother. He _had_ a brother. They used to come here every year even when his brother became really sick. Now the kid goes because it's become a habit he can't shake. If he tries to stay home, his legs will come and walk him to this spot until the weight in his body unburdens him.

This kid's been through a lot. When the festival stops and there's nobody here, then what's he gonna do? The kid smiles at my comment as if he knows better. This spot would still be here though he says. It's true. The people will move on. The food will be different. But this place will have the same sky, the same ground, and the same person sitting here at this spot. Waiting.

He asks me the question again. Am I waiting for someone too? I want to say no. It's been more days and months then I can count. Months... Wait. Has it been almost a year? A year since I've been to that spot. Has a year really passed me and yet I continue to remember? The people dancing. I can see her dancing with them. The food. She would drink and eat up everything in the stands. The games. She would spend the whole night trying to beat them all. She's not here. She has never been to one festival here but I know what it'll be like if she is here.

I turn to answer the question but I already see him halfway down the street walking home. The answer doesn't matter. I guess I knew the answer a long time ago. Even a kid knows. He saw that.

OoOo

Another month and still no sign of her. The battling has subsided for now. Most of the soldiers use the time to stay with their family while others spend their wages. I usually leave by myself but lately the Woodalchi have been coming along. There's no stopping them once they make up their minds. I figure the most damage they can do is clear the restaurants out of food and alcohol. I trust them not to make a scene or they'll have something worst to face than an angry mob. We still have our reputations to uphold and I'll be damned if we're known for roughhousing the town.

I felt it was comfortable to leave the king and queen in the protection of the palace guards. I may have been pushy and out of hand but after everything that's happened, I rather be over protective than make the same mistake again. And after having a few of my men disguised into their ranks, I can proudly say his majesty's guards have passed the cut. After I left, the queen and king gave me a send off. They don't need to say it but I know their wishes aren't just for me but for her too.

I honestly thought of giving up on her and usually when I make a decision, I stick to it but this unease in my chest won't calm. I need to see to this matter til the end personally. If she won't come to me in my dreams, she'll come to me here on this very spot. Right here by my side.

Lately, I've been having thoughts that I'm waiting for someone I've seen in a dream. Someone who doesn't and didn't exist on this plane at all. Then as if she read my mind, something would happen to reassure my thoughts. I'd hear one of her stories being told by one of the men or one of them giving each other a "High Five". I remember showing them a long time ago how it's done just like she told me and I thought they had all forgotten. I was always yelling at her about coming into the barracks full of men by herself but she basically left her mark here. Even the new men would imitate some of her gestures that the older soldiers learned from her. Their laughter eases my heart whether I care to admit it. I'm glad I'm not the only one that misses her.

OoOo

The sun is high up today and there are barely any clouds in the sky. The heat is almost unbearable now. Only the shade and this wind is making up for the intense warmth. Maybe I should have at least grabbed something to eat before heading out here but it's like my body already knows the place I should be at during this time and any other day shouldn't be different.

Ah! The wind is picking up. It feels so much better and there's her scent again. As if the heavens never fail to remind me. Someone's walking here. Their footsteps are loud. It can't be one of my men. Then who?

I turn around slowly, somehow sensing the familiar body as nothing to be a threat of. As I strain my eyes from the sun directly hitting my eyes to make up the figure, the smell of the flowers overwhelm all my senses. Could it be? That hair and those piercing eyes. I'm afraid to blink, move, or even call out. Is this another illusion? If it is, do not wake me up. She looks so real. Can it really be her?

OoOo

Authors Notes: Thanks for the encouraging reviews! Yeah, just recently watched Faith on Netflix and I didn't think I'd get this obsessed but I did. It's kinda crazy~!


	3. Chapter 3

Living through Memories

Chapter: Together

by deadkitty1

Author's Notes: Thanks for the lovely support! The narration will switch back and forth from here on in, back to Imja then Daejang. So apologizing ahead if confusion arises. Just hope you can keep up!

OoOo

Those eyes pulling me in can only belong to one person and he's standing right there in front of me. I found him! I can barely hold my tears in. My breathing is hitching to the point where I can't speak at all. My words have been taken away by the sight here and now.

She's walking towards me and my body reacts as if she's the one pulling me in. We stop inches away from each other, hovering in a comfortable distance letting everything sink in. She looks thinner than before but there's a strength behind that gaze that still exists. She's been through a lot. Too much for one person to handle. I reach for her but linger my hand in the air. Maybe I'm going crazy. This can be a lie. It could be just another woman that I think looks like her. How can I be sure? I don't know if I can take another illusion. Another dream where she isn't there when I wake up.

His hand doesn't go any further. He looks unsure. Without so much as a second thought, I grasp his hand, that big strong hand I know so well and hold it against my cheek as the tears roll down my face in relief and happiness. I don't know what to do. I'm so sorry! I've kept you waiting for too long. How awful you must have had to endure without me by your side. I'm sorry!

Her gasping breaths wake me up and I can't tear myself away from her gaze. Her worried gaze. The last time we left I was to the point of death. What kind of torture did she go through unaware if I was alive or dead during all this time? I can't control myself, I take her in my arms selfishly with her cries muffling against my chest. No more. I'm here and that pain will be mine. Please, don't cry.

His hand sweeps the hair out my eyes and I catch his face. He still holds the same care and love within those eyes even after so long. I flutter my eyes to close, fighting the irrational fear he'll disappear within my sight because I can sense him. His smell is ingrained in my memory. His presence and warmth engulfs me. This is what it feels like to be in his arms. My memory is piecing together the missing puzzle that was left lingering inside me after so long. I remember. It feels as if eternity is grappling with my moment, staining him all over my mind and my heart. Just when I thought the moment passed and words were hitting me at once, almost to the point of overflowing, I open my lips to talk but he catches it.

Her lips are heavenly sent and kissing them feels so right and yet so wrong at the same time. I can feel her thin frame clinging onto me. I do not want her to break. She can disappear. Go far away from me yet again. I don't want that to happen. Restraining myself from the urge to go deeper in this emotion, to actually really kiss her, I begin to pull out. Then, as if she feels me backing away, her hand circles around my neck pulling me down as she sighs entering my mouth. I had little time to be surprised as she leads and I follow, enjoying and savoring her lovely tongue and lips gracing my own. She whimpers and my control unleashes. Hugging her deeply, I crush my fist in her soft hair and drink her in.

I gasp in hope and longing hoping for this to be real just this once. Please don't pull the wool over my eyes. His lips are strong and passionate. The taste of him is addicting and I don't think I can get enough. I can feel him crushing my own lips like it's the first time or last time we'll see each other. It's so hot. He's burning me and I don't mind. When he does finally pull away, I notice I wasn't the only one in tears. I smile and wipe them off his face gently. He's beautiful.

"Imja." I reply. I'm unable to take my eyes off of her. Her hair is tussled and those lips look even more delicious than before. I can feel the urge to want to shut them up once more.

"Yes?" I answer with curiosity. His stare has changed and it looks somewhat dangerous especially since I'm on the receiving end of those eyes.

"Do all heavenly people kiss like that?" I tease unawarely.

I stare in shock then glare out of anger. "How about you?!" I accuse.

I can feel her starting to leave my grasp but I hold onto her tighter than before. "You. Stay by my side. Remember?"

"So you can protect me?" I answer typical to his usual sayings but feeling like I don't want to leave his warmth anyway.

I smile as much more entranced as I was the first time I saw her in heaven. "No. So you can protect me."

I tilt my head to get a better look at him. He's always been a strong brave warrior who's every purpose in life is to protect somebody and now he's asking me to protect him. "I've always been protecting you. I don't think I can stop even if I wanted," I say wistfully with promise, "Besides, I can stay here now... with you. Forever."

Our promise. She remembers. The unnecessary thoughts disappear as I bring her back into my arms and she fits perfectly. We're together again and I will make sure it stays so until I breathe my last breath. I will treasure her and love her and live for her because my days are worthless unless she's there until the beginning and the end. The regret and sadness during these years will be replaced by memories of her being with me and that's enough. Waiting for my life to begin feels like an eternity. This happiness almost feels like a lie after facing one disappointment after another. Then she holds my hand and leads me to believe this lie because living in them is better than freezing the emotions I have inside. She's found me. After all this time she really has found me but I have also found her.


	4. Chapter 4

Living through Memories

Chapter: Dae-Man & Eomma

by deadkitty1

Aish! This is not good. Plus the blood isn't stopping either.

"Dae-Man! You really got yourself good!" laughs one of the men.

I try to turn around to get a better look at the cut but that only made it sting really bad. I cough out a moan and hold back the few tears that threaten to come out from the pain. Ooh... I only wanted to show them a flip, a simple flip. The people in the restaurant were really interested. They even clapped! How was I to know someone on the other side of the room was showing off their sword at the exact same time?! I'm usually the one in charge of showing off!

Vice Captain halts the laughter and starts heading towards me. I'm in trouble now. He grabs the back of my shirt roughly, ripping it even more. I hold back a whine. I liked this shirt. I try to turn quickly to stop him but that only makes the wound sting more. He nudges me suddenly on the back of the head with a grunt.

"Ya! Who told you to move? Stay there. I'll go get a doctor," he orders.

That's not good! I didn't know it was that bad. It felt bad but it shouldn't be that bad!

"Vice Captain!" I panic, "How bad is it?!"

He doesn't say anything. That's when I notice the talking stops. It's quiet. The atmosphere drops down and a lump in my stomach forms, getting heavier and heavier as the seconds go by.

"What's going on here?!" barks the only voice everyone in this room should be familiar with. I flinch. He doesn't sound happy. He's always moody after coming back from that spot. I knew we should've brought him some food earlier.

As I lift my head to face his anger, while thinking of ways to not make it any worst, I notice someone else hovering right behind him. I can't tell who it is, but I could've sworn that person laughed.

He goes directly to the problem, me. I can feel the sweat trickle on the back of my neck and before I knew it, the guy that cut me starts blathering away.

"Daejang! I was just polishing my sword when Dae-Man came out of nowhere. He just starts flipping all over the place with no thought! He's lucky he didn't get hurt any worst than this. Honestly, you know I'm always telling him to watch himself."

I stare at the Deok-Man in shock. This rascal! How dare he look down on me! I kick him hard on the leg as he falls down hard. The idiot!

"Aish! Tell the truth! You were waving that sword around like a maniac! You're the one that should know better than to take out a weapon inside public! Who cares about your story on the battlefield?!" I burn with anger. This punk wants to mess with me? He is messing with the wrong guy.

"Why I aught to! Ya! I-I didn't do anything wrong! You came at me!"

"Ha! Came at you? Came at you?! I'm the one bleeding!"

"Stop it!"

I blink at the command, looking at the person behind the general. The person walks pass Deok-Man, who gives the person a confused look, and steps right in front of me. This person is strange. It takes a lot of guts to interrupt us soldiers, especially with our General in the room. That's when I notice the hair. It's red. The person drops their hat and immediately I know who this person is. This is a miracle!

"H-High" I stumble.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing arguing with a wound like that on your back! Sit down! Cloth. I need cloth and a needle and thread! Hurry!" she orders as she rushes to my back.

"High-High"

"Look at you dripping blood on the floor! Dae-Man! You should know better! At least it's not so bad. Good thing I have some disinfectant with me. Oh! But these scars... So many. You need to remember to always get treatment so it'll heal more nicely. You need to take better care of your body. You only have one, you know-"

"High Doctor!" I exclaim.

I reach in without thinking and hug her. The High Doctor. After all these years! She's back! I can't believe it and she smells so good! My happiness is short-lived when I remember Daejang is standing right there. Just as I start to pull out, she hugs me right back and I freeze from her touch.

"I missed you too," she whispers and the butterflies in my stomach start flapping their wings yet again.

"Dae-Man. Just who do you think you're touching right now?" growls our commander.

We both let go and I bow my head to the floor, scared to make eye-contact.

"Imja, let's go. He's fine," he said coldly.

"Daejang!" I whine now regretting what I did. I couldn't help it. I was just so happy and she can't just leave after I just saw her!

"No. I cannot leave a patient unattended. What kind of doctor would I be if I did that?" she said and goes back to treating my back. Then she sees Deok-Man and her smile becomes bigger. "Ah! Deok-Man! Thank you! You look so much more handsome the last time I saw you! The ladies must be nuts for you!"

She receives the supplies she mentioned earlier from him and he can barely hide his smile from High Doctor's compliment. I smirk at the guy and I can feel my anger going away.

"Aish! What are you doing?!" the general yells at Deok-Man while he flashes the High Doctor a similar glare.

"But Daejang! She said to get them and she can't treat Dae-Man without it."

"Idiot! She just came back! Why aren't you getting a doctor?"

"I thought Vice Captain was getting the doctor..."

He flashes a look at the Vice Captain who was still in the restaurant watching the whole scene with an amused expression but straightens his composure when the General looks right at him.

Daejang's only concerned. He should be. I guess it is only right High Doctor should rest after she just came back. She must have been through a lot but High Doctor never was able to sit still if something like this were to happen, especially to one of Daejang's men.

"Vice Captain. Where is the doctor?" Daejang hisses.

"Dae-Daejang! I though- Well since she's uh- High Doctor is-And then we don't- You see," Vice Captain stumbles hardly getting a sentence out.

Daejang points at the soldiers with the wrinkles in his head getting deeper, "You go fetch a doctor now. You get two horses. You-"

"Shut up!" High Doctor frowns in annoyance, "There's too much noise. I can't concentrate."

The general's eyes grow red and I was scared for the High Doctor. This is not good. Not good at all! Plus all of this is happening because of me! I gotta fix this.

"It-It's okay," I stutter. Great! I'm stuttering again! Just when I thought I lost it. Now I can hardly control my mouth. "High Doctor. You-you should rest. I-I'll go to another-"

She pushes me down back on the chair with a gentle but firm hand. "_Sit_ down."

"Yes, High Doctor," I reply obediently.

Well, so much for that. I can see everyone else growing uneasy and confused. It's honestly been a while since the whole Woodalchi have been thrown into a chaos such as this. It's crazy but it's a familiar kind of crazy. One that I've missed and I'm sure the rest of the gang shares the same sentiments.

"Imja," Daejang warns. I know he's holding back on his temper but barely.

High Doctor only smiles and turns up to look at him. "Daejang-nim? May I continue to treat my patient in silence please?"

Everyone looks at each other with confused expressions wondering how this scene is gonna turn out. His irritated scowl slowly disappears into a sigh. Straightening his stand, he steps directly in front of her with his military command

"Eun Soo!" He calls out.

"Yes! Daejang-nim!" she answers seriously.

"Heal Dae-Man."

"Yes! Daejang!" she answers and gives a little salute.

"Then afterwards...," he comes closer and whispers in her ear.

She gets taken aback and her cheeks glow bright but she answers quietly all the same. "Yes. Daejang."

He takes a step back and I can see the smile he has is a different one. It's almost like the one he gets when he's about to slice off an enemy. Now I'm really worried about High Doctor. Daejang's anger can be really scary once he gets into it. Who knows what he'll do to her! He goes over and sits on one of the booths and orders something to eat. High Doctor mumbles something under her breath and even though she's not blushing anymore, she still looks troubled.

High Doctor goes to work on my back, warning me that fixing it might be painful. Pain is something I can deal with. Daejang's look over there is another story. I can hear the rest of the Woodalchi start to talk again but not as loud or rambunctious as before. I wonder if maybe I can help the High Doctor in someway so she won't be in trouble with the General. Considering she just came back, it would be a bad start on their relationship plus the General would take out his bad mood on us and that would just be bad for everybody.

"High Doctor?" I whisper as inconspicuously as possible.

"Hm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Of course! Why would you say that?" she asks in an agreeable tone.

"When Daejang whispered in your ear, you looked scared," I said out of concern.

"I'm fine. It's nothing," she confirms but something in her voice says otherwise.

"What did Daejang say? Do you need help? I can- Ah AH!" I groan, feeling the prick dig in unpleasantly into my skin.

"Oh! Dae-Man! Sorry! I told you it might be painful. Just bare with it." she said so with a smile.

Her smile is awkward and it makes me a little scared to bring up the subject again but I do so anyway.

"Okay... but what did Daejang order you to- Yeowch!" I almost scream.

"Ah! Sorry! Sorry! Is it that painful? I wouldn't want you to pass out. Maybe I should get some anesthesia. Put you under. You know since it's so hard to concentrate when you're talking and asking me unnecessary questions," she warns and oddly she sounds just as scary as Daejang when she said that.

"Ye-yes. High Doctor."

She eventually stops stitching and then as she was cleaning the wound, she leans in close to my ear and I can feel her breath tickle the back of my neck.

"Dae-Man. There wouldn't be a burlap sack lying around here, would there?" she asks intently.

I think about it for a moment before answering, "Sack. I don't know. Maybe. We're in a restaurant so they should have one."

She sighs angrily at my answer as she starts talking away, "Great. A sack. A stupid sack. He wouldn't dare put me in one, would he? No. No way! Never! I'll kick him across the head if he even tries. Just who does he think he is?! Okay maybe telling him to shut up wasn't such a great thing but I was just joking. Joke. Who doesn't get a joke? Of course someone like him wouldn't."

"Done?" Daejang calls from the other side.

She stands up and points her finger in irritation. "Ya! Choi Young! Just see here! Just because I haven't seen you for years doesn't mean you get the right to-"

He thrusts a bag of mandu buns in her view and asks pleasantly, "Ready to go?"

Daejang lacks that fire earlier in his eyes and I now notice it's more playful than anything dangerous. High Doctor also seems to have noticed and the sudden anger disappears to match his calm stance. She almost grabs the opportunity but stops midway.

"Ah. But!" she then comes back to me remembering something, "Dae-Man. Remember not to stress out your back and try not to move too much or the stitching might tear. You need to take it easy for a couple of days. No crazy flipping or stunts. I'll come now and then to replace the bandage so it won't get infected, okay?"

"Imja, you'll be busy. Someone else will do it," the General announces.

"B-but!"

"Dae-Man. Do you need the High Doctor to come and change your bandages?" he asks and his eyes told me the answer I should give.

High Doctor tilts her head as she anticipates my words. I can feel the rest of the men also give into the stare down.

I pass off my nervousness with a laugh, hoping it was a genuine one.

"I'll be alright! I can easily do this by myself. I'll be fine!" I assure her and just when she looks unsure I add, "And I'll go see the Royal Doctor if I really need any help."

Daejang and High Doctor seems satisfied with my answer. With one last smile at me, she turns back to him and grabs a hold of his sleeve heading towards the door. He halts for a second and shakes her grip off his clothing. She gives him a confused look and a flash of hurt until he grasps her hand into his leaving the rest of us speechless.

"Let's go," he said and walks out of the restaurant holding her hand.

"Dae-Man. Can you believe it?" Deok-Man says softly as if saying it out loud would make what just happen disappear. "Was that really...? And did they just do what I think they did?"

He makes a motion of holding his hands and then points out the door. I nod brightly with a huge grin staring back at the door. She's back! I knew she'd be back. Daejang always brings her back.

OoOo

Two years later in the present time: 2014

"Yeobo! Hurry! The new drama will start soon!" I yell from the living room while getting the snacks ready.

"Just a minute!" he answers.

I sigh, not at all surprised. After dinner he always spends so much time in the bathroom. I need to schedule a checkup with the doctor. A colon test should do it or it can be something in his stomach. I keep telling him to watch what he eats at work. These bodies we have aren't as young and spry as the first time we met each other.

The television flashes after a commercial and my heart skips a beat. It's starting. It's starting!

"Yeobo! It's gonna start! Come on!" I call out but all I hear is a grunt.

My smile falls away as I see it's nothing more than a news reel. Something about a family donating letters written by a Queen in the Goryeo Dynasty. It must be really old. Amazing at what people can covet after all these years only for it to show now. These letters must be something precious to be kept away from the public eye for so long. It reports that the previous owners kept them through generations after generations and it has become a family heirloom. They're only lending it to a museum for a limited time as a wish from a granddaughter who hopes the letters reach the hearts of the people. How kind. The museum doesn't seem that far away either.

Well, I hope this news finishes up quick. It's the premier of Rain's new drama and I've been waiting for it for so long! The Queen's letters can go on another channel for all I care.

The letters keep flashing across the scene but it makes little sense to me since it's mostly in Chinese characters. The news goes on and on and on. Something about the letters being addressed to the Queen's mother but the difference is that these letters are unsent. How strange. To be able to write a letter to your parents and not send it. Or maybe the Queen wasn't able to send them. Just as the thought enters my head the news reports on a bunch of theories about the unsent letters. One was because of the King's ill relationship with China that he didn't want his wife to correspond with the enemy. Ah but to not be able to communicate with your own mother even from a different country is unbelievable!

Suddenly, I grow mad at the thought. It must be the King's fault. He probably wouldn't want his wife corroborating with the enemy. Women back then had little to no freedom and even if she's a Queen, her husband still controls her. Good thing I taught my Eun Soo to be – My smile turns to a frown at the thought of her. Eun Soo. My daughter. Where could she be?

"I'm alright."

I look up back at the news and turn up the volume. "I'm alright" is written in each single letter from the Queen. She also keeps mentioning a woman assumed to be one of the Queen's hand maidens or even a court lady. Eun Soo.

"Eun Soo is alright. Mom. Yoo Eun Soo is alright."

I drop the remote, hardly believing the words written on the screen. That woman. Eun Soo. It can't possibly be... No. It's a coincidence! Still something in my heart said otherwise and I couldn't turn away or force myself to change the channel.

A translator comes in and translates one of the letters. The beginning mentions a lot about the Queen, her life, the palace but then she ends it with "Eun Soo is alright and she misses your potatoes." My potatoes! Those were her favorite! They were also the last meal I sent her when she was sick. It just can't be! How?!

Another woman comes out and does a long introduction about holding a piece of jewelry that the Queen might have worn. A man immediately comes in and dismisses the claim. His face. I know that face. I never forget a face... It's dismissed as a fake but they still keep talking about it as something of importance. I find myself wanting to see it myself. One more clue of this Eun Soo. This Eun Soo that sounds so much like my daughter.

They take it out in a small box and the camera zooms in real close, not missing a beat. I raise a hand to my face and the tears stream out in shock. A blue necklace. The blue necklace Eun Soo got as a gift from her father and me. It's one of a kind. There is no other yet there it is. Clean with a bit of past to tell. As if it has been worn for over a thousand years or more. How can this be?!

My memory flashes back to the interrogation, police reports, and chaos of that first year she got kidnapped. A lot of people came and went with confusing information and even more useless information one after another. A strange man in old warrior armor with a real sword. Ancient words. Electric powers. Magic. Cutting a man down and forcing my daughter to save him. Save him she did.

Then the talks. So many voices and faces run in my head but I remember that man. I recognize his face distinctly because of what he said about my daughter. He said she's wrapped up in something bigger than she may realize. He said her missing is of little consequence than her actually being taken to the place that kidnapper went. Is it because that place she was taken to was from the past? A place in which neither I nor anyone knows where of but I felt that man knew. He still knows. When I asked for the police to find this man, they said he didn't exist. The name he gave me is a fake. The authorities told me not to take his words seriously. That he was probably a nut looking for attention. Well, he got it. He got my attention.

Pocket watch. I see him open it briefly on the screen of the TV. He still has it. It is him. If he's that expert on "denying" the age of that necklace, my Eun Soo's necklace, then what other clue is this other than it's true. That necklace did exist years and years ago. I knew he was hiding things. His eyes cannot lie and those eyes are not too easily forgotten.

I fall on my knees in disbelief. That nurse said Eun Soo appeared after her kidnapping in clothes that looked like something someone would wear in the past. Like the Goryeo Dynasty? The only things she packed were the things on her desk and medical supplies. On her desk is that necklace. She took it with her. She barely wore it, only on special occasions. Yet it appears with letters from a Queen in the past with her name written on it saying she's alright?

Days and months of that kidnapper in the registry and even his face flashing on the television with nobody recognizing him at all. No identification. Maybe it's because he didn't exist from here. That he really is somebody from another time. Did he take my daughter there? Where she cannot return? He had such strange powers. There's no way he could be from this world... or at least from this time?

The tears continue to flow through my face nonstop in disbelief from piecing together this puzzle. I've always wondered where she could've gone. Deep in my heart, I knew she had to still be alive. That kidnapper was protecting her. I watched it so many times feeling reassured this man may at least keep her alive. But to be alive in a different place? A different time? In the past? It's just impossible. It can't be. Why her? Why _my_ daughter?!

I shake my head in confusion but the letters and the necklace still remain clear. They continue to be displayed on the television reminding me. And her words. _I'm alright._ So much doubts and questions circle my head, each one straining and wanting to be heard. The answers are out of reach and the evidence around me is hard to take in. I try to regain control to dismiss these crazy thoughts away, then I see her picture on the side table with the words from the letters echoing inside my head. My heart falls for it. My head can keep denying, but I have always trusted my heart. She's trying to write to me from beyond time. My Eun Soo. My clever and smart Eun Soo. She could have come and seen us. I know she could have found a way but I feel like she found something else. Something else worth living for.

"What's going on?" my husband yells in shock at my sad figure. I point to the TV with a shaky hand. He looks at it then back at me and softens his expression. He reaches down and embraces me, comforting my cries.

Yeobo! Our Eun Soo! She's alive or was alive. But she lived and that's what counts. She lived her life happy. She's alright. That girl! And with the Queen of all things!

"Tsk tsk tsk. Honey. It's okay. It's alright! Ah~ Ssssh. Don't cry. Don't cry! Rain's drama will come back on. I'm sure this news will go away in no time."

I stop and strike him with a glare in outrage. I hit him right on the shoulder and he yelps out in pain.

"Honestly! Of all the ridiculous stupid comments you make!"

I storm out and clear my tears away. Eun Soo. Mom got your message. I want to see you. I want to come get you. I want you here so I can feed you those potatoes you want but I'll stay. I won't worry anymore, at least not so much. You just live your life as you wanted to and I will come and read all those letters to see what you did. I don't care if it's a foolish mother's wish to want her daughter be part of our country's past. You are my daughter and I always knew you were bound for great things. Still as of now, I will continue missing you until we meet again. And then you can tell me everything.

Author's Notes: Bonus extra wrap up. I hope you enjoyed the story. I needed closure and this was my own personal closure from the drama. I felt like the drama could have used one extra episode to describe everything the couple went through and the people close to them but I also understand that time might not have given them that. Plus having the ending like that leaves more awesome fanfiction for other people to read! I really love this drama and it's been a long time since I've written anything and this drama had me writing. So I gotta give it points for that!


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